A few days ago I found an interesting article in Grazia, my favourite magazine, and I recognized myself straight away while reading it. This article is titled Er, will you be my friend? And it explains the story of Rachel, New Yorker born that at 25 years-old moved to Chicago to live with her fiancé, now husband, and how she struggles to meet new friends. I thought I was reading my story, just set in the US instead than in the UK!
The only difference between me and Rachel is, I have not started yet to friend-dating…I do struggle so much with meeting people in England, in over three years I have been here I have met amazing people, thanks to the wives and girlfriends of my husband’s friends (it does sound a bit like WAGs), I met an amazing girl here that I can consider my British best friend to whom I wish all the joy of this world on her engagement…but still, sometimes, I struggle, I want to meet more people, and make friendships. I notice that when I go shopping (on my own) I even try to chat up the person who works at the cashier in Zara, H&M, Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Marks & Spencer, male or female does not matter… today I even did at Steamer Trading cook shop in Brighton, I bought a kitchen scale and when I was about to pay the girl at the cashier asked me if everything was ok, if I found what I was looking for etc, I thought How nice! So I started to chat her up saying Yes I found the scale I wanted but I wanted to buy the vintage style one but my husband does not like so I am buying this one…the girl very nice went blank for a few seconds, probably thinking:
WHY are you telling me this? And she replied politely…I mean what did I do wrong with trying to do a bit of conversation? I was not going to ask her out anyway!!! Is it the language barrier, is it the different culture or is it something else? It cannot be the language barrier, my strong Italian accent we all know is strong but it’s very understandable when I speak, it is not only the usual stereotype that British people are not friendly and Italian people are…because thinking about Rachel Tutto il mondo e’ paese (all the world is a town, everywhere is the same, like my good old grandmothers would say) because it happens the same ANYWHERE, Chicago, Brighton and Hove and God knows where else! WHY grown up people do not want meet new people and they just want stay in the circle of known friends instead than expand new horizons? Sometimes I could do with another British friend or a couple more….you know just fancy to see my best friend for a coffee in my situation could be an expensive double espresso… flying to Italy just for a quick meeting! Or I could do with a friend while shopping instead than use an imaginary one…luckily I learnt how to control myself from my compulsive hysteric lonely shopping : I try anything that gets my attention, go to the changing room, try all on and think about … what would someone else say about? Today as you can see I tried a pair of orange faded skinny jeans with zip on the ankles and a pair of Chanel inspired mint green shorts in Zara…luckily my imaginary best friend said no!
But luckily he/she did not say no to my Versace style or sofa cover inspired tops from H&M!!!
Going back to the article on the friend dating…if anyone feels lonely like Rachel or Anna, in the south east of England area….please let’s meet up!!! 🙂